599: “SATAN NOT ALL BAD,” SAYS KEN

“A warm welcome to Zingcreed, the Christian/atheist/anarchist blog from hell. Yes, it’s time to reveal our dreadful secret: this blog is written by Satan. You knew it all along, didn’t you?
Is this a joke in poor taste?
As an atheist I naturally don’t believe in  god or the devil.
Extraordinarily I think this is the first time I’ve mentioned Satan in nearly 600 posts. I hope this satirical piece from the UK’s excellent ‘Private Eye’ magazine will give us all a laugh. Lighten up, and rent “Life of Brian” from the video shop (if you can still find one) – it’s the best film ever made about Jesus.

Background: Ken Livingstone is a senior labour party politician who inadvisably mentioned Hitler and the Jews in the same sentence, provoking a “firestorm” (BBC) in the media. He meant no harm but the damage was done. This piece mocks his protestations of innocence and racks the argument up a notch by substituting ‘Satan’ for ‘Hitler’.

Enjoy!
Peter Turner.”

Ken Livingstone threw the Labour party into further turmoil last night as he  controversially spoke out in apparent defence of Satan’s plan to take over the world.

Said red-faced Ken, “A lot of people think of Satan as evil, but what they forget is that  before he went bonkers and took on the guise of a serpent to tempt Adam and Eve, he was actually an angel. That is a fact – you can’t argue with that. He had wings and everything.

“You can’t put ‘Satan’ and ‘not all bad’ in the same sentence. Although I just have,” said one confused critic. “Ken Livingstone is an apologist for Beelzebub!”

Ken was unrepentant, explaining, “People are clearly not looking at their history books. The bible clearly states that, prior to the fall of mankind, Satan was a mate of God’s. Basically they were on the same side and shared the same views on good and evil.

It was only later that they had their catastrophic falling out, and I would concede that, for the rest of time, they may have been on separate sides of the argument.”

A spokesman for Satan said, “It is highly embarrassing for Mr Lucifer to be linked in any way with the Arch Fiend Mr Livingstone. However,”  he added, “in due course, my boss looks forward to a heated discussion down here with Ken for all eternity.”

Source:
Private Eye no.1418 (13-26 May 2016) p.27 (Copied without permission)

 

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